I cannot hold it all in right now. I tried. I FUCKING TRIED. Tried to look past the fact that I’m hurting right now. It started killing me only on the inside, but now it’s killing me on the outside. I’m losing weight again, and I’m losing it pretty damn fast this time. I’m not eating as much as I should, or resting as much as I should. It’s finally catching up with me…I thought I threw it all away by moving here. But ‘here’ is not far away enough. Nothing will ever be enough, because although —— is dead, the past / pain still lives in me. I will never forgive myself for loving the wrong people, and not loving you…but did you forgive me before you left?