I hope that this works for me. I really fucking hope that this works for me. I have so much anger, sorrow, and excitement inside of me with no place to go. I want to scream, but I am mute. I want to cry, but I don’t have any tears left. I want to smile (not that horrid fake shit I put on all the time), but I forgot how to. I wish I could tell the truth, but I am a liar. I lie to hide the truth almost everyday now. It’s so sicking how I do it in routine these days. My mother calls and asks: “How are you baby girl?” and I answer without thinking “Fine! I’m so happy here mom!”. The tone of her voice changes because she knows I’m a liar. She knows I’m not happy and that I hate living here. She knows I do not belong here, but she plays along with me. She lets me think she believes my bullshit, because my mother isn’t one for fights…so I pray that this is my heaven and my hell. I pray that this ‘personal’ blog helps me escape from my lies and helps me learn to tell the truth. I’m holding nothing back, judge me as you please.